Music Without Words? Can You Handle It?

This year I decided I would have more fun. No more spending countless hours locked in a room reading journal articles. I’m getting out and enjoying life!

So, in an effort to do just that, I went to see a concert with my husband. Matt is a big Eric Johnson fan, so when he saw that he was going to be in concert in Massachusetts he jumped at the chance to see him. And I went along for the ride.

For those of you who don’t know, Eric Johnson plays guitar.

He plays guitar really well, but he doesn’t sing all that much. And I have to admit, I’m a girl that likes to sing along at a concert. This may make me unsophisticated, but I just can’t get into music with no lyrics. I just feel lost.

Regardless, it was a fun time and it’s always nice to get away from the daily grind!

And really, look how happy it made Matt (if you can pick him out of the very, very dark picture!).

Letting go of perfection…maybe

In my never ending quest for success,  I’ve decided I can never achieve it without first defining it.  For the longest time I’ve thought success was equal to perfection. Now I’m not so sure. And does perfection in one area of my life outweigh misery in another part of my life?  Or can perfection only REALLY be perfection if it’s in all areas of my life? And is perfection even obtainable?

Hard questions to a answer right?  I don’t think I’ve ever had perfection in all aspects of my life. Far from it actually!  I’ve recently decided that my attempt to be perfect is silly. Why bother right?  Are perfect people any happier really?  It seems that I’ve spent so much time striving for everything to be perfect that I’ve only increased my imperfection.

So this year, in addition to spending more time withy family, I’m going to let go of trying to do it all and do it all without errors. My.hope is that everything will then come together perfectly.

Keeping Life Balanced

As a PhD student there are a number of expectations on you. You are expected to publish, attend conferences, present at those conferences and of course keep up with class work. It’s a lot. It’s especially a lot if you’re working a full time job in the process. With all that going on, how do you keep your personal life in the mix? How do you keep school and work from taking over your life completely?

This is my dilemma for the new year, and my resolution for 2012. Not only will I have a personal life, I will have a good personal life! So, how do I do this? Well, like any good graduate student I’m attempting to come up with a plan. I’ve already committed myself to presenting two papers at a conference (should they be accepted) and to coauthoring a book chapter. The two conference papers are already partially written, they just need some cleaning up to make them presentable. The book chapter on the other hand, that’s a start from scratch deal. Now, this will most definitely take a good chunk of time to do, however, anticipating this workload, I decided to take only two classes this next semester instead of my normal three. One of the classes will be online only and the other one takes place during normal work hours (and my job has agreed to let me leave work early once a week to attend). This means that my three days a week of leaving the house at 6am and getting home at 9pm will be over, at least for this coming semester.

So, with this new found time, I’m going to do things for me. I’m going to try to go to some exercise classes, at least once a week. I’m also hoping to involve my husband in at least one class a week, so we get out and do things together. I’ve also already scheduled a couple of outings with friends to keep me busy.

I recognize that it will be constant work to keep all three of my lives in equal balance. It’s something I’ve been working on for several years now, but the time has come to decide what is really important, and although school is definitely important, I also need to have a life outside of school.

Onward and Upward in 2012!

Let’s just get to point on this one, because frankly the news is just too good to prolong. The book chapter I submitted was accepted. That means I could be coauthor of a chapter, in a real book. I know, right?!

This isn’t to say that the book is a definite go. There are still some potential problems, mainly that they could read our completed chapter and not like it, or that the book could not get a publisher. I’m hoping neither of those come true. **Fingers crossed **

What is the chapter about you ask? Fundraising in Second Life, specifically how to be successful.

Here’s to 2012 starting out on the right note!

Working Dissertation Subject!

One of the things in life that makes me the happiest is my research. I love it. I loved my thesis (you can read it you know) and I continue to love my journal article. I’ve been lucky enough to find things I love to research, even through the hours and hours of work. I’m hoping that my dissertation topic is just as exciting after potentially multiple years of study.

Here’s what I’ve got so far. I’m interested in looking at how presence impacts fear appeals in an augmented reality setting. So, here’s my basic breakdown, and remember this is still pretty preliminary with little research having been done on my part so far. One of the main components of a fear appeal is self efficacy. So if I see a fearful message, and I feel as though taking the recomended action will avert that threat, I’m likely to take that action (response efficacy). If I don’t feel as though I have control and taking the recomended action won’t make a difference, I’m more likely to go into denial mode. I’m wondering if the “level” of presence makes a difference in this. So, if someone has a high feeling of presence will the fear appeal be more persuasive. Will an individual be more likely to feel response efficacy? And I’m going to look at this in relation to augmented reality health campaigns. For those of you who are unaware, augmented reality involves 3-D virtual objects being inserted in to a 3-D real environment in real time. One of the things I found in my journal article on why people participate in social support in Second Life, was that individuals felt a high level of social presence with other members in the Second Life social support groups in part because of the near synchronous environment. I’m wondering if that will carry over into the health campaign world, with augmented reality.

This is of course, very sketchy. I haven’t done a ton of research at all.  I’m still working through ideas and making connections, but in general I think it could be interesting research. Of course in my mind I’ll need to create an augmented reality application, and to me that means I’ll need to get a grant so I don’t pay out of pocket. This may be lofty, but I want a dissertation that changes the world and that I’m proud to be associated with.

Thoughts?

Where I Pretend A Grade Doesn’t Matter…

You may or may not know me, but here’s a quick fact, I value being in control of things. Maybe value is the wrong word, I’m obsessed with it. If I’m not in control I am nervous, tremendously nervous. I 100%, whole heartedly believe that I can do anything I want. I could be president if I wanted, I’d just need to work hard enough at it. So, if I don’t do as well as I’d hoped in school, or in life, I see it as a personal failure. I like to think that’s one of the things that makes me so darn loveable.

However, in times like this, that attribute is not so fantastic. And by times, I’m talking the end of the semester grade times. Let’s face it, I’ve been moaning for a while that this has not been my favorite semester. I’ve been in the business school, and it’s been a huge culture shock. Some faculty members have been difficult at best, and the classes are set up like an undergrad class. This class set up would be fine if I had been a great undergrad student, but that I was not. You’re looking at the girl who had a .7 the first semester. That’s written correctly. No wrong decimal point. We’re talking a .7. It really is amazing that I ever made it through my undergrad degree and even more amazing that I graduated with a MA degree. I worked hard for the graduate degree. Really hard. And this semester I got some B’s. Two B’s in fact. One in each of my business classes.

This is devistating news for a variety of reasons. First includes my job prospects. I’m convinced I’d never be able to get a faculty job with less than a 4.0. Maybe that’s incorrect, I don’t know. And I go back and forth between wanting a job in the acadame and industry, so it may not even matter. But it still can’t be good.

Second, as someone who believes they can do anything, this implies that I didn’t try hard enough. I should have been able to push through the stress of the goings on in my personal life and focus purely on school work. But I couldn’t, or I didn’t. Either way it means that I’m fallable. And this is also unacceptable.

But, at this point, what does one do but move on and focus on the things that are good. Right? Wonderful family, friends and job. Great advisor. A potential dissertation topic and an easier load of classes next fall. Classes that are not in the business department and will help with my field of interest.

Rainbows, Unicorns and puppy dogs and positive thinking!

What Was I Thinking?

I’ve said in previous posts “what was I thinking” and I stand by that. This has not been an enjoyable semester. At. All. I’ve been out of my element. I miss my communication classes. I miss talking about marginalized people, gender identity and power structures. I miss the intellectual stimulation. That’s not to say that business classes aren’t intellectually stimulating, just in a different way.

I like reading journal articles. I like going to class and talking to classmates and ultimately thinking of things in new ways. Am I priviledging my comm classes? Sure am.

But I’ve learned something from this semester, one that I’m not going to get my MBA and two that I’m tougher than people give me credit for. I can push through things and I succeed, even if I want to pull my hair out the entire time.

And will I do yet another semester of three classes and a full-time job? Perhaps I will next semester.